Blah Blah Blah

I should be putting new strings on my guitar right now, but I’m in more of a cherry pie and coffee mood, so the strings will have to wait. One of the more glamorous aspects of playing in a semi-working band, right up there with hauling heavy stuff all over the place, is watching what you eat before a gig.

I generally sing lead on 12-15 songs a night, and perform vocal harmonies on 20 or so more. By the end of the second night of a two-nighter, my throat is pretty raw. There are things I can do to help keep my voice going, however. Drinking copious amounts of water (and appallingly little alcohol) before and during a gig is always good. So is avoiding certain foods. No dairy 48 hours before a show, no caffeine or spicy foods 24 hours prior. Have to keep an eye on the sugar intake.

Consequently, I tend to eat a lot of “forbidden” foods leading up to the cutoff points. And this is why I am having cherry pie and coffee right now rather than putting new strings on my guitar.

Did I say all that out loud?

In other news, congratulations to Mark Loretta on winning his first Silver Slugger award. Have I mentioned lately how glad I am the Padres didn’t throw a bunch of money at Edgardo Alfonzo?

Pie and coffee are done, which means I am done. The exciting world of free agent relievers will have to wait…

Random Bits of Information

Rookie of the Year Update

Arizona Fall League

The Padres contingent:

             AB  BA OBP SLG BB SO
Barfield,Jo  45 311 346 444  3  9
Johnson,Be   66 303 395 591  8 18
McAnulty,Pa  51 314 379 510  5  9

               IP  ERA BB SO
Baker,Br      6.2 1.35  2 10
Oxspring,Ch  15.2 3.45  4  8

We’ll have to talk more about Barfield at some point this winter. I have no idea what to make of Johnson anymore. He’s got a boatload of talent but it’s taking him forever to learn how to use it. McAnulty has been playing some in the outfield, which should be interesting. Baker and Oxspring are real good bets to see time with the big club next year.

Padres Off-Season: Starting Pitchers

Today kicks off our look at how the Padres might be able to improve themselves for next year. But first, a public service announcement.

Tomorrow is Election Day. As a reformed apathist (didn’t vote between 1988 and 2003; not proud of it, but what’s done is done), I’d like to encourage everyone out there to make their voice heard. Yes, our system is flawed, but it’s what we’ve got and it’s a heckuva lot better than many others.

That said, if you’re still having trouble figuring out how to vote on some issues or in some races, here are a few resources you may find useful:

Don’t worry, this is as political as we’ll get around here. Please educate yourself as much as possible about the issues and races that affect you, and then act accordingly. For years I was fond of claiming not to be a part of the problem because I didn’t participate, but that’s a load of garbage. If you don’t make yourself heard, then someone else will speak on your behalf. I don’t care how you vote (not entirely true, but close enough for our purposes), just make sure to be informed and be a part of the process. It cannot work without each of us.

Okay, back to the Padres and their starting pitchers. Information varies a little depending on the source, but I show the Pads currently committed to a shade over $56M for 11 players. Current thought holds that next year’s budget will be in the neighborhood of $65M. This leaves $9M for 14 players, which means that as usual, Kevin Towers will be sludging for bargains.

Towers also has stated that his main priorities this winter are to re-sign free agent LHP David Wells, and fortify the bullpen and bench. Since we’re talking about starting pitchers today, we’ll focus on Wells. With the Yankees rumored to be interested in bringing back Boomer, and Wells likely to fetch more guaranteed money than he did in 2004, I’m not sure how realistic re-signing him is. I do think that he was a positive force on the field and in the clubhouse, but I don’t know how much sense it makes to potentially blow half your spending money (or more) on a 42-year-old pitcher.

So where does that leave us? We know that Adam Eaton ($3.2M) and Brian Lawrence ($2.25M) will be here. NL ERA champ Jake Peavy is arbitration elgible, so you can bet that he and the Padres are working on a long-term deal as I type this. I have no idea what he’ll end up signing for, but it’s got to be at least in the range of what Eaton and Lawrence are making, right? Wells ended up earning $6M last year. If he signs for the same amount in 2005 and Peavy fetches Eaton money, there’s $9M right and the budget is at $65M. Uh-oh.

At this point there are a few things the Padres can do (or try to do):

  • Get Wells to take a hometown discount
  • Give Peavy a back-loaded contract
  • Forget about Wells and focus on cheaper available talent
  • Move one of Ryan Klesko or Phil Nevin
  • Move Terrence Long and/or Jay Payton
  • Increase budget by a few million bucks

We’ll talk more about the hitters another day, and why none of them is likely to be dealt. As for the pitchers, the obvious first priority is to long-term Peavy. He’s a unique pitching talent, the likes of which San Diegans have rarely (if ever) seen. Pitchers are always a risky investment, and yet they are very necessary. The Padres need to lock up Peavy now, and at least delay his eventual exodus for far greener pastures (sorry, but if he becomes as good as I think he’ll become, the current ownership won’t be willing to pay him what he’s worth in a few years).

Regarding Wells, the big questions are:

  • Can he duplicate his success from a year ago?
  • How serious are the Yankees about pursuing him?
  • How smart an investment is guaranteed money to a 42-year-old pitcher?

My general feeling is that if George Steinbrenner wants Wells back, then the Padres shouldn’t even think about him. I also think that while it’s possible that Wells can still be as effective next year as last, it’s not a particularly prudent bet. I would want to make any contract offer to him heavily dependent on incentives, as last year’s was. And I’m not sure how keen Wells would be on signing such a contract. All of which is a long way of saying, I’d like to see Wells back with the Pads next year, but I don’t know that it’s the best fit.

If not Wells, then who? There are many possibilities.

In-house, guys like Brian Sweeney and Dennis Tankersley are probably as ready as they’re ever going to be. They’re cheap, they’re hungry, and they deserve a shot to show what they can do. The same can be said of Justin Germano, Chris Oxspring, and Tim Stauffer, but all of them could use a little more experience at Triple-A. Andy Ashby, who is eligible for free agency, also would be a good candidate, although counting on him for anything probably isn’t much smarter than counting on anything from Sterling Hitchcock was. Still, Ashby knows how to pitch, he’s had success in a Padre uni, and he isn’t in a position to command a bunch of money.

On the free agent market, there probably isn’t a whole lot that falls in the Padres’ price range. We’ve already looked at Bud Smith among the minor league free agents but he makes Ashby look like a good risk at this point. Among pitchers who have filed for free agency, here are a few who caught my eye:

  • Cory Lidle — Works plenty of innings, throws strikes; Brett Tomko type could be useful at the back end of a rotation for the right price
  • Esteban Loaiza — One spectacular season surrounded by 9 years of mediocrity; potential hometown discount
  • Dennys Reyes — Left-handed, will only be 28 next year, can start or relieve, shouldn’t be too expensive; first came up with the Dodgers at age 20, but still hasn’t gotten a real shot as a starter
  • Glendon Rusch — Left-handed, still relatively young (30), can start or relieve; if the Cubs aren’t interested, the Pads should be
  • Ron Villone — Like Reyes and Rusch, only older; not real exciting, but affordable – the Ford Fiesta of pitchers
  • Paul Wilson — Health concerns appear to be behind him, as does ace potential; unbelievably consistent (92 ERA+ each of the past four seasons)

No Matt Clement? No Brad Radke? Not even a Derek Lowe? Nope. Like it or not, these guys are way out of the budget. Honestly, I’m not even sure that the pitchers I listed are affordable enough for the Padres.

There may be others out there that haven’t filed yet, and of course it’s not a given that one of Klesko or Nevin won’t be moved, but right now these look like the best of the bunch in the Pads’ price range.

What would I do? This is subject to change, but I think I’d give one of the kids (Sweeney or Tankersley) first shot at the #4 spot so they can take a regular turn in the rotation. Then I’d grab whichever of the above pitchers is cheapest and have him duke it out with Bud Smith (assuming he’s got anything left) for the #5 spot. And I would consider anyone who didn’t make the rotation for a bullpen job.

It’s not a sexy plan, but it’s more practical than giving guaranteed money to Wells or breaking the bank for someone like Clement. Oh, and I’d try to work a marketing deal with Ford for their Fiesta. Something along the lines of “Padres and Fiesta: Spanish for ‘Not as exciting as it sounds’.”

Minor League Free Agents

The always entertaining Six-Year Free Agent List is up over at Baseball America. This, IMHO, is where Kevin Towers should be focusing the energy he spends on the Rule V draft every year. Most of these guys have mastered Double-A, and many of them have had productive stints in the big leagues.

A ton of former Padres in this year’s crop: Jason Middlebrook, Alex Pelaez, Jorge Velandia, Matt Whiteside, Matt DeWitt, Sir Eugene Kingsale, Jeremy Owens, Brandon Puffer, Jason Shiell, Trenidad Hubbard, Darren Blakely, Courtney Duncan, Aaron McNeal, Jermaine Clark, Brian Tollberg, Eric Owens, Mike Colangelo, Bryce Florie, Scott Sanders (!), Emil Brown, Raul Casanova, Buddy Carlyle, Junior Herndon, Jeremy Fikac, Jose Nunez, Homer Bush, Buddy Carlyle Carlos Reyes, Graham Koonce, Mike Rivera, Clay Condrey, Mark Smith, Luther Hackman, Donaldo Mendez, Kevin Nicholson, Kevin Witt, Mike Wodnicki, Kevin Pickford, Ryan Balfe, Bubba Trammell, Brad Clontz, Bart “Brad” Miadich, Santiago Perez, Julius Matos, plus probably others I’m missing.

Guys who played in the Padre organization in 2004 who are on this list include Bernie Castro, Alex Fernandez, Yamil Haad, Chris Rojas, Todd Sears, Rico Washington, Alan Webb, among others.

“Where are the interesting names?” you’re asking yourself right about now, and I’m glad you are. Here are a few:

  • Jack Cust — Minor-league masher without a position. Has hit .220/.331/.390 in 141 big-league at-bats. Age 26. Could be another Daryle Ward type? I can think of worse guys to give a spot at the end of a bench. Some of them are very fast.
  • Mario Valenzuela — No big-league experience. Hit .263/.307/.494 at Triple-A last year. Age 28. Former prospect’s shine has dimmed, but he could be useful in an Olmedo Saenz kind of way.
  • Jeremy Giambi — Cust with less power and more success at the big-league level. He’ll be 30 next year, and his career line is .263/.377/.430. If he’s healthy, he’s worth a gamble.
  • Dan Reichert — Career ERA of 5.55 in nearly 400 innings. Good arm, health and command issues. I’ve long thought a move to the bullpen might be in order. Last year at Triple-A, he posted a 3.70 ERA working strictly in relief. Still only 28. Intriguing.
  • Pat Strange — Reichert with less experience. Former top Mets prospect has stalled out at Triple-A. Not necessarily a guy the Padres should be thinking about, but the guy was highly regarded not long ago and he’s just 24. Registered a 5.25 ERA spliting time between the rotation and the ‘pen at Triple-A last year.
  • Billy McMillon — Hero of Roberto Petagine fanboys everywhere. Age 33. Sports a career line of .248/.322/.396 in 601 big-league at-bats. Compares well with Joe Vitiello at the same age, for whatever that’s worth.
  • Bud Smith — The one name here that excites me more than any other, which probably says more about me than it does about Smith or the entire list of free agents. Padre fans will remember him for the no-hitter he threw at the Q in 2001 while with the Cardinals. Hasn’t pitched in the big leagues since 2002. Owns a career 4.95 ERA in just over 130 innings. Age 25. Worked all of 16 innings in the minors last year. This kid was a very promising pitcher before injuries struck. Someone should at least be trying to figure out if he has anything left.

Okay, so maybe “interesting” was a bit of an overstatement. But I hope Towers and company are at least taking a look at this list. If you’re going to be thinking outside the proverbial box, it seems to me minor-league free agents would be an excellent place to start. It would be interesting to see a comparison of how minor-league free agents have done historically versus Rule V draftees.

For grins, here is my list of intriguing minor-league free agents from last year. Calvin Pickering resurrected his career in Kansas City (Cust, anyone?). The aformenetioned Saenz had a nice little season with the Dodgers in very limited action. Rudy Seanez and Marcus Thames also enjoyed a fair amount of success at the big-league level.

There you go. In other news, the Red Sox won the World Series. Congrats to them. Now we can start debating the relative merits of, say, John Halama versus Trever Miller. It’s gonna be a great winter…

I Wish I Liked the Red Sox

I don’t, but I’m glad they took down the Yankees in historic fashion anyway. First, it’s a great accomplishment to come back from down 3-0. Actually, "great" isn’t a strong enough word. No MLB team had ever done it before last night. Ever.

Plus it was pretty cool to watch a stadium full of shell-shocked Yankee fans try to figure out what to do while the Red Sox celebrated on their field. This is going to be a very long and bitter winter in Steinbrennerland.

Padre fan Johnny "Captain Caveman" Damon knocked two homers and drove in six runs in the deciding game. He and series MVP David Ortiz immediately move to the top of the Yankees’ wish list for next year.

And over in the NL, the Cardinals forced a Game 7 in their series with the Astros. Don’t care much who wins that one. Slightly prefer the Cards because I’d like to see Woody Williams get a ring, and I think they have a better chance of knocking of the Red Sox. But Ken Caminiti played for the Astros, so I’d be okay with them as well.

Whatever happens, I just hope MLB will have the sense of irony to reintroduce the Who’s Your Daddy t-shirts…

This and That

Recovering from last week’s shows, getting ready for this week’s. Thinking of tie-ins for our band name. Like a drink, maybe. Anybody know of a drink that needs a name? I can’t promise you much. A t-shirt. And my gratitude. If you have a drink that you think could be called a “Chin Wagger” drop me a line. I suppose we could name a drink “Ducksnort” but good luck finding anyone to drink that.

With baseball season over (okay, technically the playoffs are still happening), I’ve been reading like a madman. Finished Neil Peart’s Traveling Music last week. Now I’m about 100 pages into Bill Bryson’s modestly titled A Short History of Nearly Everything. I’d tell you about ‘em but college pretty much killed my desire to write about books. It’s hard for me to be objective about either writer, anyway, because I’m fond of both. They are very good at getting me curious about the things they find curious.

I’ve also become infatuated with the band Death Cab for Cutie. Not only do they have the coolest name ever, they also have a fine album out called Transatlanticism. There isn’t a weak tune on it, but the lead track, “The New Year,” is a sonic feast that has absolutely captured me. The guitar tones are warm and rich, the playing is aggressive yet precise, the lyrics are engaging and intelligent, and the production is fantastic. The entire CD is like that. So many lush sounds, so many captivating lyrical and musical phrases. The reviews I’ve read compare them to other recent indie bands, but I hear a variety of influences from 20-30 years ago which are diverse enough that no single one dominates.

So that’s what I’ve been doing and why I haven’t been blogging. Now, a few items of interest to Padres fans:

Now back to my cave…

A Few Quick Thoughts

Oh boy, Baseball Reference has added 2004 stats. Check out the Padres page. You can see that Sean Burroughs compares well to Edgardo Alfonzo and Brooks Robinson at the same age, among others.

You can also find weird pieces of information. For example, you probably know that Ryan Klesko hit just 9 homers this year, the fewest he’s hit in a full season. But did you know that his OPS+ (OPS relative to league) of 127 was identical to his OPS+ in 1995, when he hit a career-high 34 home runs? Well, now you do. Aren’t you the lucky one!

. . .

Due to a fortuitous set of circumstances, my band Chin Waggers has seven shows in the next 30 days (including two this weekend). So if you can pry yourself away from Baseball Reference for a while, come out and see us.

Okay, just one more plug and then I’ll let you go. If you do the Bloglines thing, you can subscribe to the Ducksnorts feed.

That’s all for now. Thanks for reading. The next post won’t be quite so fluffy, I promise.

RIP, Cammy

I wanted to mention this sooner, but I’ve been searching for the right words. I still haven’t found them, and I may never find them, but I have to say something.

As you probably know by now, former Padre third baseman Ken Caminiti died of an apparent heart attack Sunday, at age 41. The first thought that came into my head when I heard the news was: what a waste. It is sad beyond words that anyone should die so young. Yeah, I know it happens every day and why should we make a big fuss about Caminiti just because he was a baseball player?

A few things come to mind. First is the impact Caminiti had on San Diego and the Padres. He played here for just four seasons, but in that time, he reined in three Gold Gloves, two All-Star appearances, and an MVP award. He also was the proverbial heart and soul of the 1996 and 1998 playoff teams. Three times in their history have the Padres made the playoffs. Twice Cammy was the cornerstone.

For whatever personal demons he may have had (and by all accounts, there were plenty), Caminiti always came to play. The guy was, to employ an overused but appropriate term, a gamer. And the Friars enjoyed great success in his tenure here. It was his teams that restored a sense of pride in the Padres and ultimately led the citizens of San Diego to vote for the construction of Petco Park.

Former GM Randy Smith, who orchestrated the deal that brought Caminiti from the Astros (ironically, he isn’t the first player acquired by the Padres in that trade who left us too soon; shortstop Andujar Cedeno lost his life in an October 2000 automobile crash), said this of the 1996 NL MVP: “Saying he turned around the franchise might be mild. Saving the franchise might be a little strong.”

The point is, if you were in San Diego in the mid- to late-’90s, you knew who Caminiti was. And you knew that because of him, and guys like Andy Ashby, Steve Finley, and of course Tony Gwynn, it was okay to be a Padres fan. Gone were Tom Warner and his 1993 fire sale, replaced by John Moores and a new sense of optimism, the likes of which hadn’t been seen in over a decade. Like it or not, Caminiti was a hero.

This brings me to my second Caminiti anecdote, a little more personal. I never met the guy, but I very well could have. One random Tuesday night in the fall of 1996 our company softball team was playing at a park in University City. For whatever reason, I couldn’t make it that night. But I remember coming to work the next day and being told of an unexpected spectator at the game who had come to watch a friend of his play. After the friend’s game finished, this spectator hung around to watch the next game, our game.

After our game, some guys on the team recognized the spectator as Caminiti and struck up a conversation with him. And they chatted for maybe a half hour, about baseball and life in general. I may have messed up some of the details, seeing as I wasn’t there, but the general point is that this professional baseball player found time to hang out and chat with guys from our company softball team that he didn’t even know. Eight years later, thinking back on it, I’m still completely blown away by that. And I’m sorry I missed a chance to talk to the guy. At the very least I would’ve liked to say a simple thank you.

So, still searching for the right words. Can’t find ‘em; these will have to do instead: My deepest condolences to the Caminiti family for their loss. My genuine thanks to Cammy for the joy he brought this Padre fan and the respect he helped restore to the organization. And my sincere hope that some good, in some way, will come of this. Maybe somewhere down the line, some kid will be able to look at Caminiti’s struggles and learn from them.

Our heroes are all made of the same flesh and bones as the rest of us. They are every bit as fallible, and every bit as human. When they die too soon, their mark is left on all whose lives they touched, in whatever way. It’s not that Caminiti’s death is any more special than Joe Blow’s, it’s that it impacts, rightly or wrongly, so many more people. Maybe there are other lessons at work here as well. Remembering to cherish those who are close to you while you have the opportunity seems like a good one.

I could go on in this vein for several more paragraphs I’m sure, but the point is made. There is no graceful way to end this. RIP, Ken Caminiti. You will be missed.

Just How Unfriendly Was Petco to Hitters?

One of the central themes in 2004 here in Padreland was the home club’s inability to take advantage of the spacious new downtown ballpark. But how much did Petco Park actually hurt hitters?

The answer, at least using one season’s worth of data (and only of Padres), is that it didn’t have much of an impact on the home team versus the previous two years at Qualcomm. This is true for any of a number of measurements, including runs scored, OPS, and RC/27. (Dataset is available as a CSV download for those interested. Thanks to Jeff at Leone at Third for providing the inspiration in gathering and assembling this.) The two real interesting things I found from sifting through the numbers are:

  1. among Padres, right-handed hitters were hurt a good deal more by Petco than were lefties;
  2. although the Padres enjoyed greater success on the road than at home, this was more a function of dramatic offensive improvement away from San Diego over the past few years than any decline that may have come from moving from the Q to Petco

As someone who watched the Padres almost religiously this season, I find the second point astounding. But the numbers back it up. There was no appreciable difference in their home output this year vs 2002 or 2003. Here are some team home/away splits:

OPS
      Home Away Dif
2004   722  787 -65
2003   711  731 -20
2002   714  691 +23

Runs scored
      Home Away  Dif
2004   329  439 -110
2003   306  372  -66
2002   334  328   +6

RC/27
      Home Away   Dif
2004  4.55 5.38 -0.83
2003  4.26 4.60 -0.34
2002  4.32 3.95 +0.37

Run differential
      Home Away
2004   -13  +76
2003   -70  -83
2002    -4 -149

The Padres OPS has been remarkably consistent at home over the past three seasons. Overall, the offense was stronger in San Diego this year than last and roughly equivalent to that of the 2002 edition. The big difference between 2002 and 2004, of course, is the 111 more runs scored by the Padres on the road this year. They are treading water in San Diego, regardless of the park, but over the past two seasons have become a monster away from home. So for as much as Petco Park may have gotten into some hitters’ heads, it sure looks like the once-daunting task of scoring runs on the road has even more emphatically gotten out of those same heads.

How about home runs? We keep hearing about those, right? The Padres can’t hit the ball out of their own park, but nobody else seems to be having trouble. What’s up with that?

Well, let’s just say they didn’t lose the ability to get outhomered at home when they moved downtown. The good news is the Padres actually improved in that area this year, and by a lot:

Homers at home
      Pads Opp Dif
2004    57  75 -18
2003    55  95 -40
2002    59  76 -17

Again, much better than 2003 and pretty much in line with 2002. Padres hitters didn’t stop knocking homers at home (well, some of ‘em did but we’ll get to that in a minute). And on the bright side, the pitchers served up 20 fewer this year than last. That’s one every four games.

And back to our first point, that righties were hurt more by Petco than were lefties, check this out:

OPS (min 100 PA)
Left
           Home Away Dif
Giles       864  834 +30
Klesko      808  888 -80
Long        752  758  -6
Burroughs   692  734 -42

Right
           Home Away  Dif
Loretta     870  900  -30
Nevin       829  887  -58
Hernandez   764  872 -108
Greene      683  895 -212
Payton      609  775 -176

Ryan Klesko suffered a pretty hefty drop in production at home but still managed to swing an 800+ OPS in an off year. The other lefties were only minimally affected by Petco Park.

On the other side of the dish, Mark Loretta achieved his OPS in radically different ways at home (.295/.373/.496) versus on the road (.368/.406/.494) but overall remained productive regardless of venue. Even the vocal Phil Nevin wasn’t hurt all that much by Petco. Ramon Hernandez took a pretty good hit at home, but the alarming differentials came from Jay Payton and Khalil Greene. (Interestingly, all three were in their first full season in San Diego. Adjustment period, perhaps?)

I don’t know what the record is for largest home/away OPS split, but I do know that Greene’s differential was greater than that of Vinny Castilla, who plays half his games at Coors Field.

Here’s the team data:

             Home             Away
        BA OBP SLG OPS   BA OBP SLG OPS
Left   275 352 394 747  284 354 411 765
Right  245 325 385 709  294 349 461 810

(Note: this doesn’t account for switch-hitter Freddy Guzman’s 80 PA, which I could not break down both by home/away and left/right.)

Oddly, despite the large home/away split in OPS for Padre right-handed hitters, it was lefties who had greater success on the road in terms of home runs:

Home runs
Left
           Home Away %Home
Giles        10   13  .435
Klesko        3    6  .333
Long          1    2  .333
Vazquez       1    0 1.000
Burroughs     0    2  .000
Total        15   23  .395

Right
           Home Away %Home
Nevin        12   14  .462
Loretta      11    5  .688
Hernandez    10    8  .556
Greene        3   12  .200
Buchanan      2    0 1.000
Nady          1    2  .333
Aurilia       1    1  .500
Quintero      1    1  .500
Ojeda         1    0 1.000
Payton        0    8  .000
Cirillo       0    1  .000
Total        42   59  .416

Incidentally, if those lefty numbers look a little anemic, it’s because five left-handed hitters had more homers in 2004 than all Padre southpaws combined:

Adam Dunn   46
Barry Bonds 45
Jim Thome   42
Jim Edmonds 41
David Ortiz 41

But I digress. The main point today is that, from an offensive standpoint (outfield defense is a whole other animal), the Padres don’t need to think so much about how to get Petco Park out of their heads as how to get whatever got in their heads on the road and apply that to their home games, regardless of venue. That last sentence stunk, but I think you know what I mean. This isn’t a team that can’t hit at home. This is a team that couldn’t hit anywhere and suddenly started bashing the ball on the road. Who’s to say they can’t do the same at Petco?

No Baseball Content: Naming a Band

If you are interested in starting a band and are looking for a name, here are three useful questions to ask yourself:

  1. Is anyone else already using it?
  2. Is anyone else already using it?
  3. Is anyone else already using it?

If I were to add a fourth question, it would have to be: Is anyone else already using it?

If the answer to the above questions is no, then you have a band name. If the answer is yes, then keep searching until the answer is no.

Bonus points if your name gets people to look at it and go, WTF? In other news, my band has changed its name to Chin Waggers. We’re playing all over town, come out and see us. Assuming I don’t have to repair strings, I’m always happy to talk Padre baseball or whatever between sets.