Bad Closer Entrance Music

Eric Mirlis has written an article about closer entrance music over at He focuses on the songs of both New York closers (Metallica’s “Enter Sandman” — not a bad choice, although I prefer “Wherever I May Roam,” which Akinori Otsuka used when he was here), but it got me to thinking: which song(s) would you not want as your closer entrance music?

Here are a few my wife and I came up with over dinner at Teri Cafe last night:

This is a start. I know y’all have some good ideas. ¡Digame, amigos!

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36 Responses »

  1. Feelings…nothing more than…Feelings…

  2. “the bitch is back” by elton john

    “what’s goin on?” by 4 non-blondes

    “it’s not unusual” by sir tom jones (yes, those british dolts knighted him)

    “stroke” by billy squier

  3. “Wake me up before you Go-Go” Wrong in every way imaginable.

  4. Lets get drunk a screw- Jimmy Buffet

  5. Chris, if Elton is knighted, then surely TJ should be knighted.

  6. Rap edition:

    “My Mind’s Playin’ Tricks on Me” by the Geto Boys
    “Mo Money, Mo Problems” by Notorious B.I.G.
    “Abandon Ship” by Busta Rhymes
    “5 Million Ways to Kill a C.E.O.” by The Coup
    “Rico Suave” by Gerardo

  7. Firestarter by Prodigy.. God awful song and not a nickname I’d like to have as a closer.

  8. “Poundcake” by Van Halen would be a little inappropriate for a closer. While the topic is on individual songs, shouldn’t Klesko change his to something a little less self-fulfilling than “Bad to the Bone.”

    By the way, Geoff, I’ve been following Ducksnorts for a while now. Thanks for all the work you do.

  9. Solid efforts. Keep ‘em coming!

  10. “It’s Raining Men”

  11. Great topic – here’s a true story from last season.

    Last season, the wheels came off for Brad Baker’s season when he entered a game to Europe’s “The Final Countdown.” Baker blew the save that night, proceeded to get bombed several more times and lost the closer’s job within the month.

    I encouraged the PA guy to pick a good song and stick with it. I’m a fan of ACDC’s Thunderstruck, which David Lundquist used here in 2001. But no, he had to bounce around with a few songs. When he finally used Europe, that was the end of Baker’s season.

    I still give the PA guy grief for that.

  12. Anything by Scritti Politti would probably fail to intimidate.

  13. 80′s:
    Kajagoogoo, “Too Shy”
    Haysi Fantayzee “Shiny Shiny”.
    Culture Club, “Do You Really Want to Hurt Me”

    Sixpence None the Richer, “Kiss Me”
    When in Rome, “The Promise”

    I’d love to see some monster like Rob Dibble or John Rocker come charging in to one of these songs.

  14. Oh come on? No Simpsons fans going to pop in with Homer’s boxing theme song War’s “Why Can’t We Be Friends” as the most entirely inappropriate closer song of all time?

  15. MacArthur Park sung by Richard Harris (among others)
    When Will I Be Loved sung by Linda Ronstadt
    Knock Three Times sung by Tony Orlando and Dawn
    Desperado by the Eagles
    (In a similar vein to the above)
    Lonesome Loser sung by the Little River Band

    “Tambourine Man”, sung by William Shatner

    (Then again, *anything* sung by William Shatner)

    Medea’s Child

  16. “chim chiminey” from the Mary Poppins soundtrack

    “Kiss on my List” Hall & Oates

    “Songbird” — Kenny G

  17. What I’ve always wanted to do (which would also probably be horrible for any baseball player) is to come out to one of these three options

    1) “Taps”
    2) Dogs barking “Jingle Bells”
    3) Doesn’t matter, as long as the closer is carrying a cordless mic and singing it on the way to the mound

    In a more realistic vein, “Loser” by Beck would not inspire confidence

  18. Dogs barking “Jingle Bells” has to be the best idea so far…

  19. Oh Mandy – B. Manilow (aka Barely ManEnough)

  20. I like the dogs barking Jingle Bells.

    How about any song by Weird Al? That would be great as well . . .

  21. They should play something that would just confuse people, like a portion of a Sonic Youth song from the 80′s where they are just playing out of tune instruments with their feet to create ambience. Or not, whatever.

  22. They could play Man Eater. I’m sure that would raise some eyebrows.

  23. I’m truely surprised that no one’s suggested my personal favorite:

    “Baby Got Back,” by Sir Mix A Lot.

    Because anytime you can play this song in a very public setting, it’s comedy.

  24. I wonder if the Padres would consider playing “Poundcake” when the opposing closer came in?

    (thanks for the suggestion, LaMar :-)

  25. I’m not sure if it would be genius or gawd awful, but I lean towards gawd awful:

    “The Safety Dance” Dude’s out there getting a save, after all.

  26. For one that doesn’t inspire confidence, I nominate NOFX: “Hobophobic (scared of bums)”

  27. - Billy Don’t Be A Hero
    by Bo Donaldson and the Heywoods,
    - Bridge Over Troubled Water
    by Simon & Garfunkel,
    - Don’t Go Breaking My Heart
    by Elton John/Kiki Dee.

  28. - Idiot Prayer
    by Nick Cave
    - This Mess We’re In
    by P J Harvey
    - On Your Side
    by Pete Yorn

  29. Not sure why I still care … but RamonH had a good day yesterday …

  30. This info in my daily BP email …

    This week on Baseball Prospectus Radio, we’ll have Hall of Fame broadcaster Jerry Coleman from the Padres. He’ll reflect on his career on the field and in the booth.

    … but no details about when this will happen … … looks like it’s a Saturday thing …

  31. Here’s a link to the BP radio show with the Jerry Coleman interview …

  32. Just by connotation, these should be struck from the playlist at any ballpark:

    Beastie Boys – Sabotage
    Bon Jovi – Livin’ On A Prayer
    Godsmack – Mistakes
    Stone Temple Pilots – Half the Man I Used to Be
    System Of A Down – Roulette
    The Beatles – Don’t Let Me Down
    Gloria Gaynor – I Will Survive

  33. what a great idea for a story how about T.NT. by a.c.d.c. or aint no mountain higher by sung by john tesh

  34. Two words: Indigo Girls.

  35. and noone has mentioned Pantera’s “Walk”?

    although its awesome.