What the heck are we talking about, anyway?
| Batt Mush | Matt Bush (pitcher, not shortstop) |
| Branyan the Manyan | Russell Branyan |
| Claw | Cla Meredith |
| Crudge | Left-field platoon of Jose Cruz Jr. and Terrmel Sledge |
| DS | Ducksnorts |
| Girly Mouth | Hiram Bocachica |
| HVC | Human Victory Cigar, currently Kevin Cameron |
| IGD | In-Game Discussion |
| Jenga | Milton Bradley |
| Mashin’ Macedonian | Kevin Kouzmanoff |
| NOG | Non-Orange Giles, aka Marcus Giles |
| OG | Orange Giles, aka Brian Giles |
| Pepe Negro | Bud Black |
| P-Mac | Paul McAnulty |
| PPR | Padres Prospect Report |
| Shakespeare | Josh Bard |
| Silent L | Geoff Blum |
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