Bullet points today:

• Wells wants guaranteed contract if he returns to Padres (U-T). I love what David Wells has done for this ballclub, in terms of on-field performance and the impact he’s had on the kids. Signing Wells on the cheap this past winter was a brilliant move. But a large part of what made this a brilliant move was the fact that it was on the cheap. The kind of guaranteed money Wells is talking about now doesn’t seem to make a lot of sense for the Padres, especially when there are so many good pitchers hitting the free agent market. Wells is quoted as saying, “I know there will be teams interested. I’m sure I’m going to get a lot of calls . . . probably one from New York.” You know what? I could see the Yankees throwing $7M guaranteed at the guy, but it seems like the Padres could find better ways to use that money. Some of the bigger names on the market include Russ Ortiz, Carl Pavano, Odalis Perez, Kevin Millwood, Eric Milton, Chris Carpenter, Matt Morris, and former Padres Matt Clement and (gulp) Jaret Wright. Even guys like Glendon Rusch, Derek Lowe, and local product Esteban Loaiza could be good bargains. I think there’s a decent chance Wells will get his guaranteed money, I just don’t know that it should be coming from a team that is on such a tight budget. This is the lesson we were supposed to have learned from Bubba Trammell, Wiki Gonzalez, etc., right?
• Padres need a hope and a prayer for playoffs dream (U-T). Bill Center does a nice job of outlining the club’s post-season chances. Basically, their best shot is to run the table and hope that the Cubs can’t win more than three of their final six games, and the Astros win more than four of their last five. Both clubs have only home games remaining, with the Cubs getting three games against the Reds (72-84), and Houston getting three against the Rockies (67-89). Long odds? Baseball Prospectus gives the Pads a 1.36% chance of making the playoffs.
• Padres have to keep on winning (NC Times). Great quote from Brian Lawrence, about pitching to Barry Bonds: “There really isn’t a strategy when facing Bonds,” Lawrence said. “I won’t throw him anything good to hit. We’ll just stand up, throw him four balls and let him go to first.”
• Jake Peavy update: With both Carlos Zambrano and Randy Johnson pitching last night, each has one start remaining. If Zambrano throws a complete game shutout, Peavy will need to allow four runs or fewer in 1 2/3 innings to become the second Padre (Randy Jones was the first) to win the NL ERA title. Peavy also was named NL Player of the Week. I know Peavy keeps saying it’s not about individual achievements, but you gotta love what he’s done this year.
• Ben Folds Produces William Shatner (Undercover News). Nothing whatsoever to do with baseball, but I heard a cut off this record on a local radio station yesterday and it was the damn funniest thing I’ve heard in a long time. Hint: Shatner shares lead vocals with Henry Rollins on the song I heard.

Okay, enough of that. Time to win some games. Brian Lawrence vs Jason Schmidt tonight at Petco. Usual time, usual channel. Go get ‘em, boys.