California Screamin’
Wed, Oct 8, 2003
by Geoff Young
For a variety of reasons (your sanity, and mine), I try not to inject a lot of politics into this forum. But today I find myself in the embarrassing position of living in California and I just wanted to apologize on behalf of the state.
For years I’ve been telling people that things aren’t really so weird out here. But maybe that’s because I’ve lived in this state since before the age of 2 and it’s all I know. And maybe it’s time for me to ‘fess up and admit that we really are a bunch of idiots.
It’s like the out-of-control drunk girl at frat parties. You know, the one whose friends always swear she’s not like that? But she keeps getting invited to the parties because she is like that, and her friends lose credibility and self-respect.
So in the interest of re(t|g)aining my self-esteem, I’m calling my home state out for what it is: A place populated by flakes and worthy of outsiders’ ridicule of scorn. Oh, she’s still my friend and I love her dearly. But she’s a freakin’ idiot who gets what she deserves.
If you’re reading this and you’re a resident of California, I feel your pain. If you’re reading this from somewhere else, go ahead and laugh if it makes you feel better. Nothing you say or do can be any worse than what we do to ourselves.
Sorry for the diatribe, but it had to be said. Next time we’ll talk about baseball. Hasta la vista…
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