My friend Dan and I were rummaging through a used bookstore in North Hollywood the other day, and I stumbled onto an amazing book called Very Bad Poetry. As the editors note, to write truly horrible poetry requires, among other things, "an enviable confidence that allows one to write despite absolutely appalling incompetence." I was planning to share excerpts from this tome every now and then, but I see now that someone has already done this. Anyway, bearing in mind that laughter is best enjoyed with others, I hope you’ll get as big a kick out of these as I have.

Michael Johnson

Yes, it’s true! The Padres have signed 2002 second-round pick Michael Johnson. Thanks to Clemson’s early exit in the NCAA tourney, there was a small window of opportunity for the Pads. Deadline was 9 PM PST Monday, and according to scouting director Bill Gayton, who sat in for a half-inning of last night’s TV broadcast, the deal was struck around 8:15. I think many of us fans had all but given up hope on signing Johnson, who is slated to begin his pro career shortly at Lake Elsinore.

According to Baseball America, the signing of Johnson means that the Pads will take a college pitcher with their first pick, either Richmond’s Tim Stauffer or Wake Forest’s Kyle Sleeth. San Diego also signed right-hander Jared Wells (31st round) and outfielder Brian Wahlbrink (43rd round) from the 2002 draft.

In other draft news that probably doesn’t belong in this space but which I’m too lazy to stick anywhere else, John Sickels gives his thoughts on the top prospects in this year’s class.

Speaking of the NCAA Tourney

Belated congrats to the USD Toreros, who made it for a second straight year. They put up a good fight against juggernaut Cal State Fullerton and Notre Dame, and actually managed to beat Arizona. Another step in the right direction for Rich Hill’s program.

Rod Beck

Geez, is he really only 34? Seems like he’s been around forever. Anyway, he’s a Padre now. Charles Nagy (who actually was doing pretty well in long relief) was outrighted to Portland but isn’t expected to report. Given the way the Padre starters have been pitching, it seems to me the club might be better served with a guy who can soak up more innings. But what do I know.

The Battle of Who Could Care Less

With apologies to Ben Folds, the Tigers are coming to town in what could be the least meaningful rematch of former World Series adversaries ever. Hard to believe it was just 19 years ago that these two clubs battled for the championship. Detroit arrives just two games behind the Pads in the race for last place. The hometowners need to take two out of three to stay ahead of the Tigers.