I didn’t see it, don’t even really want to know about it. I was watching Padres GM Jed Hoyer speak — along with former Dodgers GMs Fred Claire and Dan Evans — at SABR41 (I’m still sifting through my notes; a report will follow at some later date) when Aaron Harang and friends almost spun the first no-hitter in club history.
Well, “almost” is an exaggeration. The Padres managed one hit and zero runs, so even if Luke Gregerson had recorded the final out in the ninth, the game would have gone to extra innings.
I followed along on my cell phone and chuckled to myself at the thought that one of these two “offenses” eventually had to score a run. While Hoyer reminded us that the Padres payroll is reality and cannot be used as a crutch, Gregerson served up a double to Juan Uribe.
These two events may or may not have occurred simultaneously. It’s called a narrative device, and I’m asking you to willingly suspend your disbelief… not about the Padres’ inability to hit baseballs, of course; I am a reasonable man…
Moments after Uribe broke up the no-hitter, the Dodgers won. You can read details elsewhere… someone who gives two snorts will tell you all about it.
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I heard a hilarious joke this weekend, but it’s incredibly vulgar so I can’t repeat it here. I’ll tell you a different one instead:
Q: How did the Padres score their only run in three games at Dodger Stadium?
A: Rob Johnson homered on Sunday.
The other joke is funnier… and only slightly more vulgar.
* * *
This is the part where I would break down the season’s first half, but the Padres break down just fine without my help, so we’ll skip the formalities and acknowledge that it sucked. The best that can be said about the Padres is that at least they aren’t the Astros. As consolation goes, that is right there with putting salt in your eyes.
At least we get a break now. Things are bound to improve. And if they don’t… well, sometimes that happens.