Nine Signs You Think About the San Diego Padres Too Much

In the interest of trying to preserve our collective sanity while the Padres continue to play sloppy baseball and slip in the standings, and because one of my favorite bloggers is sponsoring a cool contest, I present the following list. To my regulars, I hope this helps. To those of you visiting from Darren’s blog, thanks for stopping by and make yourselves at home; rest assured we’re not always this silly — sometimes we’re much worse. ;-)

To the list:

  1. Despite a profound lack of evidence, you insist that SR-125 was named to honor the number of walks Gene Tenace drew in 1977.
  2. When someone tells you they’re going to see a show, you say, “Oh, you mean a ‘Show‘?”
  3. You have bad memories of Tino Martinez, but even worse ones of Richie Garcia.
  4. Your kid’s middle name is Eichelberger.
  5. Her first name is Enzo.
  6. You never boo opposing players; you just call them Ruben.
  7. You know which name follows in this sequence: Kory DeHaan, Donaldo Mendez, Shane Victorino, _______________.
  8. In times of crisis you ask yourself, “What would Brian Buchanan do?”
  9. When you hear “Hell’s Bells,” you think, “Man, that Trevor Hoffman is good — I wonder if he does any other songs?”

There it is. I don’t know about you, but I feel better.

On another note, if you’re planning to join us for the game at Petco Park this coming Sunday and you haven’t already let me know, please be sure to do so by 5 p.m. PT today. I’ll be buying tickets tonight.

51 Responses »

  1. This might sound insane but since Soriano is on waivers, KT should claim him. He played 3B … 10 games for the Yanks in 2000.

  2. G?Y

    Excellent list. From the list, I have determined that indeed, I do think about the Pads too much. As a side note, my wife surprised me and took me to SD for my 30th birthday in 2000. She got tix on the 1B side, so I could be near T Gwynn.
    As luck would have it, Tony went on the DL about a week before we got to SD. The two guys I saw play RF – DeHann and Eric Owens. It was great to be at the games, but . . . what a letdown!

    ryguy — not insane.

    KT almost had a deal worked out for him when he was with the Yanks.

    Is he really any worse defensively than T Walker?

    Of course, I’m feeling desparate, b/c the Pads are slumping.

  3. Another note:

    I will never forget Rich Garcia. That pitch was a strike. I’m still pretty bitter about that.

  4. Nick you are tearing at old wounds…you are bringing back the pain I don’t want to drudge up. I can feel my heart breaking all over again.

  5. ::Repost::


    I created a FFBL through (I like there set up a little more than Yahoo) it’s completley free anyone is welcome to join. and click on the “NFL Fantasy 2006″ link

    Leauge Name = Ducksnort Nerds
    Password = Padres

    I have the Draft set up for, August 23, 2006, 3:15 PM PST but that can be changed easily.

    If you have any problems please email me at

    We only have two people signed up we can do better than that

  6. Maybe that is the reason Sandy and KT are making the team lose, so we drop in the standings and thus obtain a better position on the waiver wire. Heh.

  7. The pitch to Tino was a strike no matter what Garcia says. I watched my tape of that game not too long ago and was still livid over that. The whole series went down the tubes on one pitch.

  8. Come on guys lets not drag up the past we are going to start to sound like Cub and Red sox fans.

  9. I agree with you Masticore, I thought the pads were going to win that game. if they did, they would have had a pretty good chance in the Series.

    Coulda, shoulda, woulda . . . .

    I had that game recorded, but I taped over it — couldn’t watch it. I don’t keep losses on tape.

    Right now, the only Pads game I have is the 96 division clincher against the Dodgers. What a wonderful game that was.

    I’d like to get a recording of the 98 NLCS game 6 against the braves, but haven’t been able to find it anywhere.

  10. So I’m thinking we need to start talking to Tampa Bay. They have B.J. Upton playing 3rd base (ex-Shortstop)and they have supposedly 2 stud shortstops (Ben Zobrist and another name I can’t remember) then they have Even Longoria 3b out of this years draft absoulutely KILLING the minors. He’s already made it from being drafted like what not even 3 months ago to Double A and his numbers are retarded. Call me crazy but that seems like way too many people to fill 2 positions. For a team assembling tons of young talent we should look to them to make a deal. I’m not for giving up Kottaras but if we could get one of those guys I would probably make it happen especially for Longoria and probably Upton.

    Just a thought for the future because at this point that’s all I think we’ve got. I’m done with this season!

  11. I think that people need to be more realistic about the thirdbase situation. Tampa Bay isn’t going to trade Upton or Longoria. The only players out there for this year are stiffs like Aaron Boone and Joe Randa and the defensive improvement that you would get over Walker would be given back by their putrid offense. Walker is, unfortunately, the best option. Any other player that they try out there will be so bad offensively that to play them for defensive reasons wouldn’t make any sense.

    A major problem with the Padres the last two games has been hitting with runners in scoring position and 2 outs. Personally I think it’s just bad luck right now and in a few games they are going to get hits when they need them.

    People need to relax. The Dodgers aren’t going to keep playing like they are right now, and if they do, David Wright wouldn’t help the Padres win the division. I think that they can easily win the wild card as the Reds have much the same problems as the Padres but their pitching is a total mess. I don’t see how you can be a playoff team starting Rich Aurillia and Scott Hatteberg at the corners.

  12. Nick – I used to have the 96 clincher on tape too. If I remember right, it was extra innings, and Chris Gwynn had the winning hit? Earlier in the game I remember laughing because Doug Dascenzo tried a cannonball maneuver into Piazza at the plate, and Piazza just shrugged him away like a gnat for the out.

    I’m sure I have the 98 NLCS G6, but finding the tape AND getting a copy made may be in issue unless you’re somewhat patient. I no longer have two VCRs…

    I do have a friend that has a device that burns VHS tapes to DVD…

  13. Grumbling in the clubhouse?

    Not that there may be some truth in what is said, but I like how the players are hiding behind their anonymity by saying they don’t want to hurt Walker’s feelings, when they really don’t want a supposed nefarious front office to come down hard on them. Instead of complaining, they should focus more on their hitting. I knew the way the Padres handled the Vinny release and apparent coming of the third base messiah was going to come back to bite them in the behind…

  14. Tom I’m not talking about this season. Even if we manage to stumble into the playoffs again we won’t win a game…AGAIN!

  15. So…this is what bloggers do while the team collapses? Nice list, too bad we’re not talking about how well the team is playing…

  16. “You know which name follows in this sequence: Kory DeHaan, Donaldo Mendez, Shane Victorino, _______________. ”

    Is the correct answer Jason Szuminski?

  17. Here some links to what I was talking about with the D-Rays before.

    Longoria (20 years old and it looks like he’s playing both 3rd and SS)-

    Joel Guzman (6’6 230lbs and only 21 years old)-

    Keep in mind these guys are both blocked by BJ Upton and Zobrist that were just brought up to the majors like 2 weeks ago. I’m just saying they would be an interesting club to try to make a deal with in the off-season.

  18. The Padres’ next starting third basemen is:
    Eichelberger. That’s his middle name and his mom’s first name is Enzo.

  19. Bryan: Yep, Szuminski is the name we were looking for there. You clearly think about the Padres too much! :-)

  20. Guilty as charged. 8-)

    Just as bad is how I knew how to spell his name off the top of my head.

  21. From the article Bruce linked to:

    “In trying to make sense of the high-risk chemistry experiments of releasing Vinny Castilla and Eric Young and the curious acquisition of Todd Walker, several prominent Padres admit to being mystified.”

    Castilla had a .579 OPS
    EY was at .593

    And they’re “mystified” as to why they were released? The reason this team is in a tailspin is everyone started hitting like Castilla and EY.

    This actually kind of fits into my theory that management’s focus on next year can lead to the team feeling they don’t have the backing to win this year. But that doesn’t excuse their performance. The problem wasn’t releasing Vinny and EY, the problem is we still don’t have a third baseman.

    If this team is so fragile that they go into a funk when the worst third baseman in baseball is released then they’ll get swept in the playoffs again and I have no problem with cleaning house in the off season. Get some guys in here who aren’t cry babies.

  22. GY… Honestly I’m a little pissed that you didn’t think Eddie Orepessa was good enough to make your list.

  23. God I like SPAM a lot…

    Anyway, Yeah…Go Chargers!

  24. Masticore — I’m a patient man — I’m a Padre fan. I would be very happy if you could get that for me.

    C Gwynn did have that hit — a PH double off of none other than CH Park.

    GY — I love #2. That’s a good one.

  25. From a Padres fan currently living in Texas, thanks for this post! Its been years since I’ve been to a game, and I miss it!

  26. Dodgers already have 2 back in the bottom of the 1st. They’re gonna run away with this thing.

  27. Wilson Betemit since going to LA:


    Todd Walker since coming to SD:


    Scott Linebrink since the deadline:

    0-1, 5.40 ERA, 5 INN, 8H, 3ER 2BB 7K

  28. I heart Miguel Cabrera.

  29. FF what about HR’s and RBI’s and maybe amount of AB’s too! Possibly fielding % while you’re at it. I have a feeling those 3 stats don’t tell the whole story on the Walker/Betimet comparison.

  30. Betemit’s OPS is better, so more XBH. RBI are pretty arbitrary, given how dependent they are on performance of others, especially in small samples. I think we all know the defensive story here, right?

    Betemit is 2-2 today, btw.

  31. Sorry Friar…I often am with the stat heads on many things, but RBI’s are not arbitrary…to many variables with to many guys consistantly at the top of the list for it to be arbitrary…

    And I would take Betimit right now over Walker…everyday players who play adequate defense are worth a lot more than journeyman bench guys…Especially in the long run.

    And I guess that is what get’s me about this non Betimit trade…people keep talking about setting us up for the future…that 2007 is what we are playing for, etc. etc…But it was Towers that said the reason he did not get Betimit was that he would not help us this year. He did concede that in the long run Betimit would have been a great addition, just not for 2006. Something does not add up.

  32. ROTFL!! Great list ;) . Our list is up if you’d like to look… have a great day!

  33. RBI’s are heavily dependent on both opportunity and the general ability of the player to drive men in. So far, Betemit has been poor for the Dodgers in such situations – Before today’s game he had only driven in 4 of 51 runners on base. That is a lot of chances for such a short stint, but it is also a small sample size and he can turn that around pretty quickly.

    With the Padres, Walker has driven in 0 of 19 runners on base, a horrible ratio, but he has had many fewer opportunities than Betemit, despite being on his new team a comparable amount of time. Again, small sample size.

  34. Friar…here is a nice article by the boys over at Hardball Times on RBI’s…

    Entertaining…and from a stathead.

  35. 12-4 Fish in the sixth. Now FF hearts Cabrera x 2.

  36. TF,

    Are those numbers for runners on base or RISP?

  37. GY – great / fun list … THANKS! But … do ya think that’s the source of the extra spam??? :-(

    re: Miguel Cabrera … I heart him too! and x2 also! Let’s rehash what we think it’d take to trade for him :-)

    re: tapes … I think I have a tape of one of the 1984 NLCS games … and now that I think about it, it’s time to get that transfered to DVD …

  38. re 39: Runners on base – stats courtesy of Baseball Prospectus. The RISP numbers are comparable – before today, he was an awful 3 for 20 in those situations as a member of the dodgers.

  39. Khalil has 16 GiDP. Holy cow!

    Why Castilla was let go: ,

    but I guess as a player, one wouldn’t want to know the numbers (unless it’s contract year), in case the organization will hold that against oneself. I’m not buying the this season is over attitude. Get a grip and hit, Padres. Or we shall hire Magadan and fire him again (as suggested in Gaslampball).

  40. LM: Glad you enjoyed the list. Yes, we are getting a bit more exposure than usual today and so a bit more spam. I’ll clean those up as soon as I get home. Meantime, kindly ignore the miscreants.

  41. Did anyone else catch Sandy on 1090? Nothing too surprising. He emphatically denied they are setting up Bochy and KT to fail, basically said they will be back next year due to guaranteed salaries and said there is no major deal in the works. Also pointed out that it’s still a close race and things can change quickly, don’t panic, etc. The Dodgers have been playing out of their head but they only have a 3 game lead, they aren’t going to stay this hot and we aren’t going to stay this cold.

    A win tonight would be nice, a breakout for the offense would be nicer. We need to get Patton or William Wallace or Bluto Blutarsky to give this team a pep talk.

  42. Sandy Alderson: Padres’ season over? Did you say “over”? Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!

    Kevin Towers: Germans?

    Alderson: And it ain’t over now. ‘Cause when the goin’ gets tough…
    [thinks hard]

    Alderson: the tough get goin’! Who’s with me? Let’s go!
    [runs out, alone; then returns]

    Alderson: What happened to the Padres I used to know? Where’s the spirit? Where’s the guts, huh? “Ooh, we’re afraid to go with you Sandy, we might get in trouble.” Well just kiss my *** from now on! Not me! I’m not gonna take this. The Giants…they are dead men! Durham, dead! Alou, dead! Bonds, dead! Niedermeyer…

    Towers: Dead! Alderson’s right. Psychotic, but absolutely right. We gotta take these bastards. Now we could do it with conventional weapons that could take years and cost millions of lives. No, I think we have to go all out. I think that this situation absolutely requires a really futile and stupid gesture be done on somebody’s part.

    Alderson: We’re just the guys to do it.

    Moores: Let’s do it.

    Alderson: LET’S DO IT!

  43. This stuff is hard to take. I was going to do a game by game analysis of the Padres RISP during this 2-6 little run of ours, but ran out of time, and think I kind of know the answer. I know the Padres were horendous in the NY series, something like 1-12; I did not track the Houston series, but even our 7-2 win should have been 12-2, but we left a ton of guys out there and we got at least 3 of the 7 runs off of HR’s despite getting a ton of base runners. So, I expect the numbers were not so good in the Houston series.

    Finally, I believe I saw a stat after the first SF game that the Padres were 0-10 in the first game with men in scoring position and I know we were were 0-fer last night (solo HR; SF with bases loaded = runs), so if you add all that up, pretty dismal.

    I am in the BA with RISP vs. normal BA is more or less luck at the individual player level, and assume that it is for the team as well. But I am guessing we have some structural problems as well. DR, Cam, Giles, AGon, Walker have been OK at getting on, not great, but not horrid. Greene, Barfield, Blum, the lower part of the order, have just flat out stopped hitting. So if I have time I will do a break down by player, but am guessing that the bulk of the RISP have been with the lower part of the order who has just not been doing much of anything. Until some of those guys start getting hits, we could just keep leaving guys out there. Coupled with not getting guys out there at a great pace, that adds up to few runs. Also, we have not been getting tons of Xbase hits, expect HR’s (typically solo or 2-run shots), so we need those hits to score guys, rather than pushing them around with ground outs and sac flies.

    Also, AGon needs a day off. His D is great and, relative to the team, is hitting OK, but he has to be worn down a bit.

    I will go through ritual again tonight. We have a team that can win the division, but we need the bottom of the order to start hitting.

  44. Question: What happened back in May? Was that just 1 guy (DR) getting hot? Was it luck? Can the Padres do *that* again?

    Is that just what’s happening to the Dogs right now?

    Sandy’s kool-aid tastes pretty good … join us for a swig … and then you, too, can write like our buddy CM (#46) :-)

  45. Great List. Although I will admit that I do not think of the Padres too much, and in fact wouldn’t get most of the entries on your list without your links.

    But we do share something in common, we both love teams that seem to be sputtering towards the playoffs (I’m a life-long White Sox fan).